Dirty water

More fragments mostly. Unremembered stuff. There was something about a bunch of drunks asking directions to a bar, but I can't remember anything more about that.

The one I do remember involved S. I was somewhere strange. There was a long aisle formed by rows of scaffolding on either side. The stuff on the left was all I was concerned with. There were all these individual sections of scaffold, most were lowered to the ground, but there was one up and open. The track that formed the row was muddy ground. It was cold, and everything was misty. S was lying on the ground at the open scaffold. I progressed down the row to where she lay, and I saw she was naked, with a blanket half over her. I looked into the open scaffold section, and she was there now, lying naked in a ditch of stagnent, muddy water, her breasts and face the most visible elements above the surface.

I asked her if she wasn't cold and how she could be lying in the water like that, wasn't she uncomfortable?

S just laughed at me, and rolled around in the water playing. I knew she wanted me to join her in the water, but there was no way I was going in there. The idea was an impossibillity to me. Then she gave me a smile and lifted her hips to me, spreading her legs. I looked down, and she was shaved perfectly clean, and then I realized, she had no vagina. All there was was flat, smooth skin.

And that was that.

S has been having a lot of issues lately about moving forward. I refer back to her kidnap dream. I think that she is happy where she is, with no intention of learning any of the lessons this life has to offer. This has become more and more obvious, from her actions and what she says. The dream simply reinforces it for me. The sexual aspect of it is quite disturbing for me. I don't know what it means. I'll have to give that more thought....